Tuesday, 4 September 2007

Ways to get free meal

Hi, and welcome to Dr Hawker's 'Ways to get free meal'. After spending 9 months researching chosen subject, i have found out that, there are indeed ways to get free meal. This research is done so that for the sake of society benefits, everyone can have free meals.
Scientically proven by Tawau research laboratory, there are 10 ways to get free meal. Here, i would like to announce the 10 ways and hope via this, i will get a noble prize soon.
Ways to get free meal:
1. Act friendly. Be as nice as you can but don’t let yourself looked like rich.
2. Tell your targets how sucks other people treat you. Sympathy always works.
3. Eat ‘soft rice’. Even If your target is a girl, just eat whatever she treats you. You might want to reject a while, but eventually accept to show you didn’t mean for her to treat you.

4. Hide you money. Keep everything related to money discrete as possible. However find opportunities to show off you have branded items. This is to let them think you’re not purposely sucking money off them.

5. It’s best to say you can’t afford after you reach the restaurant, cinema, café…They have no choice but to treat you.

6. When people are eating, let your target know your existence. They will most probably ask you along for meal.

7. When around others who are not as rich, act poor. Even when people didn’t ask you about it, always tell others : “No money lately”

8. When need to pay bill, show yourself that you accidentally didn't bring enough money, tell others to treat you 1st,and next time you will spend them back (which will never ever happen).

9. You need to have good escape skill(e.g. blink, windwalk, dopplewalk, sprint, timewalk, etc) , after meal, better run off, don't let them remember they already pay for you. And never say thank you. –credit by fellow researcher banana

10. Try to target at those who haven’t being target yet. If everyone around you knows already, change location. As the saying goes: There are more trees in the other mountain.

Conclusion: Act stupid, Thick face. In this world, free meals do exist.
Thank you.
Signing off,
Dr Hawker


Crayn Tay said...


Jenna said...

Of coz remember lah ^^

Stellix said...

entry of the year

Siu Siang said...

One more suggestion in getting a free meal: wear back the t-shirt n pants ur mum used to clean the kitchen, scrap the back of ur kuali (4got eng term) and put it all over u.. get the latest beggar look.. and get action!

.. and loose ur face

Below the sky there is no free lunch


Crayn Tay said...

soo goood..u still remember who m i..